Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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