I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
