my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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