Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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