I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
