Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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