Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
