I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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