he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How external is "for external use only"?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
