Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
