So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't EVER smell your tampon
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
