is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
