His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Randomize
