Your mouth is God's brothel.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
