She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
