Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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