Already got asked if we're dating
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize