Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize