Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
