oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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