and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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