I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
