You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
