so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
