I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there's paper in my vomit.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
handjob tips. give me some.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
