Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
