Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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