I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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