Your mouth is God's brothel.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Randomize
