Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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