My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
