Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
