Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize