I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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