I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize