As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
