is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
