She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
