my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
