weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
