Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize