We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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