the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
