Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize