Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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