i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
