haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she told me i tasted like america
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
