Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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