I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize