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• (646): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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• (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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• (516): View more from New York

  He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.

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• (510): View more from California

  I just texted my mom from a strip club.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese

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