belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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