It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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