What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
