so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
