hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
