wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
