I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize