Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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