I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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