do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
