i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
im six kinds of drunk right now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
