she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
