You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
