More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
