You work out of a Hotel?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
