My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
