Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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