I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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