i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
