3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
