I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
