If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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