I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
