you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
