Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
