I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
