In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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