Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
